


second choices, second chances

by inkandparchment



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, No one commits suicide, but it's thought about, don't ever believe for a second that your life isn't worth anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:35:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24754069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkandparchment/pseuds/inkandparchment
Summary: warning: a little drabble wherein luka struggles with his anxiety & contemplates suicidealthough i've been lucky enough to have never gotten to the point where suicide was an option i've truly considered,  i have struggled with many of the insecurities that luka faces in terms of his relationships with others. this was supposed to be a sweet little rom com where marinette gives herself a "second chance" at love with luka, and figures that maybe he should never have been her "second choice" (bc unpopular opinion: adrien is overrated). instead we have this pity party of a story that reeks of me projecting my insecurities onto luka. sorry.
Relationships: Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	second choices, second chances

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: all my gratitude to thomas astruc's miraculous ladybug for inspiring this fic - anything you recognize (characters, setting, dialogue, etc) belongs to him! however, i ask that if you take inspiration from anything original in my fics, please don't copy or plagiarize them here or on other sites without my explicit knowledge and permission.

luka couffaine was not the kind of boy girls would bring home to their mothers. 

though his gentlemanly manners would suggest otherwise, his physical appearance (though attractive, no doubt) often hindered him from getting into long term relationships. some characteristics such as his messy blue hair, as well as his matching black nails and ear gauges, just screamed immature, punk, and irresponsible - qualities that are often rather off-putting to parents.

because of this, he was used to coming in "second." even though he knew his own family loved and cared for him deeply, he sometimes felt like he was an inferior replacement for a father figure to his younger sister, juleka. in terms of friendships, he often lacked true friends, as most of his classmates were encouraged by their parents to stop hanging out with him because he was likely to be a "bad influence." in fact, he had only once been invited to an outing with his so-called friends - and that was simply because they had an extra ticket to the movies left after another guy had to cancel plans when he'd come down with the flu. as if that wasn't enough, even strangers only turned to him as a last resort, at his job in the supermarket, clients never approached him, simply turning around to look for another employee whenever they needed help. 

though he'd mostly accepted his fate, there were just two people to whom he hoped to be more than just like a second place consolation prize. though it was cheesy and quite frankly, disgustingly cliche, he couldn't help but want to be the best and truest version of himself around them. they were the most extraordinary girls he knew - marinette dupain-cheng, and paris's beloved superhero ladybug. in fact, his quiet observations of the two led him to believe that there was a possibility that they were one and the same… but that's a story for another day. 

  
  


the first time luka met marinette, he didn't know she was chasing after adrien agreste. she'd just been sent down to call him up for rehearsal. however, he could sense something distracted in her, and in fact, she'd later invited luka on a disaster of a double date, while she clearly spent the entirety of the date pining after the pretty blond model. so while she was clearly occupied with thoughts and feelings for another, why did he still feel like he was the most important person in their world when he'd been invited by her in the first place, or days later when he'd gotten to cradle her in his arms when she came to him (him!), completely overwhelmed, to find comfort in his (his!) arms… 

the first time luka really met ladybug - he didn't count the times that he'd seen her saving paris on the news - she had entrusted the power of the snake miraculous to him. why him? he'd wondered. he would eventually learn that it would be because adrien agreste had already tried and failed to wield the miraculous, relinquishing it to her disappointment. he just happened to be at the right place and at the right time to be the replacement. (it didn't stop the his heart from rushing in his ears though, as she placed the box gently in his hands. when was the last time someone had trusted  _ him  _ with something so valuable? had anyone ever done so at all?)

he found it ironic that his super power was second chance, when all his life, all he'd ever been was just a second choice. 

as viperion, he ended up being rather familiar with mercy. forgiveness. sometimes he just wanted to pummel his teammates for their recklessness, often resulting in death. he'd felt the need for the quiet practice of meditation the most on the nights where he'd see ladybug dying, his instincts to protect the brave girl causing him to have to bite his tongue in order not to shout at the teammates that had been unable to prevent her death. as luka, he often just tried not to be bitter, but it's hard when all you are to the ones you love is just a second choice. forgiveness was hard, when people technically didn't even do anything to you - what they didn't do, was always what hurt him the most. 

all the failures and deaths he'd witnessed as viperion, coupled with his anxiety and insecurity at being enough (as luka) - whether it was worry about being enough in the role of a son, a brother, a father, a friend, a musician, a student, an employee, or a goddamn superhero - took such a toll on him that it all led to this point. him. standing on top of liberty, ready to walk the plank. wouldn't it be so nice to fall? to forget? all the pain, the loneliness, it could all just be over, after all, nothing could heal him, nothing could make things better...

or so he thought, until just seconds later, he heard a soft melody.  _ marinette, marinette, marinette. _

he automatically assumed she was just there for juleka (you're just a waste of space - you're only ever second place - you could never be worthy of her attention stopstopstopstopstop), but instead he heard her melodic voice, saving him again - 

  
"good day, captain! is luka home?"

and as he released a deep breath, all he could think about was how hearing her made him feel like he was home. maybe he could give  _ himself  _ a second chance. 

**Author's Note:**

> hmmm i might make this into a series and have my original idea (rom com where marinette gives herself a "second chance" at love with luka, and figures that maybe he should never have been her "second choice") be the second part of this series, from marinette's perspective, with her and luka being in an established relationship, what do you think


End file.
